To keep from getting too weird in my Tower of Isolation, I'll sometimes work at a coffee shop, where I'm almost always privy to an extraordinary world of aural people watching. I am now convinced that many folks could seriously benefit from my casual wisdom.
No matter your reason for frequenting a coffee shop, there's basic etiquette, and rather than paraphrase, read this, memorize the graphic, and do unto others.
No matter your reason for frequenting a coffee shop, there's basic etiquette, and rather than paraphrase, read this, memorize the graphic, and do unto others.
If you are conducting business in cafes, there is an additional level of consideration required, and I am convinced that far too many professionals are not aware of these unspoken rules:
[note: **asterisks denote universally applicable items)
I hope none of you have perpetrated these atrocities against fellow coffee shop patrons, but if you are guilty of any of the above, well, thanks for brightening my day.
Next time: the science of climate change, for real.
[note: **asterisks denote universally applicable items)
- If you are going to talk on the phone, you may not talk louder than the civilians who are enjoying a face-to-face conversation.
- If you are going to talk on the phone, you should probably avoid revealing sensitive information about your employees, even if you are not near people you know, and especially if you ARE near people you know.
- [[As I sit here, the above situation is what prompted me to write this post. The guy next to me has been on two phone calls that violate rules one and two. I have learned a lot about Malinda, and how she's both "unpolished" and misses a lot of work because of her chronic health issues, and he's wondering if there's a way to fire her without getting sued. ]]
- If you're conducting an interview with a prospective employee:
- Don't do it in a coffee shop.
- If you're wed to the coffee shop venue, morning rush hour is the worst time to do it.
- You definitely shouldn't bring a panel of interviewers with you.
- ...especially if there are no tables available and you end up having the interview standing in a tight circle in front of the milk station.
- ...especially if there are no tables available and you end up having the interview standing in a tight circle in front of the milk station.
- Don't be a jerk to the person you're interviewing. We've all been on the other side of that table (though probably not a coffee shop table because most people know it's a terrible idea) and if you decide to be rude, you cannot be angry when the barrista spills your next cappuccino all over your lap.
- If you are being interviewed, it's extra important that you have prepared thoughtful answers to potential questions, because everyone is listening to you crash and burn.
- **If you must be interviewed in a public place, work on eliminating fillers such as "you know," "like," and "right?"
- **Do not suggest the interviewer is making a "big mistake" by not hiring you.
- **If you must be interviewed in a public place, work on eliminating fillers such as "you know," "like," and "right?"
- If you're meeting up with someone to network or do a pitch, it's extra important that you are prepared, because everyone is listening to you crash and burn.
- If your pitch has props, make sure they function properly/are silent/will not hit adjacent people when you use them.
- If your pitch has props, make sure they function properly/are silent/will not hit adjacent people when you use them.
- If you know you're not doing great and everyone can hear, do not collectively apologize to the other patrons once the interview/pitch is over. Be strong.
- When networking or pitching, don't ever interrupt the other person with, "Can I talk about my stuff now?"
- If you show up to an interview stoned, or you are conducting an interview stoned, and the job for which you are interviewing has nothing to do with being stoned, you deserve all the snickers you get.
- If a stranger is focused on work and wearing headphones, do not interrupt in order to ask for their number.
- If your screen is clearly visible to other patrons and you are writing something uncomplimentary about them, you must be prepared for someone to confront you over what you are writing.
- lolololol *points to self*
I hope none of you have perpetrated these atrocities against fellow coffee shop patrons, but if you are guilty of any of the above, well, thanks for brightening my day.
Next time: the science of climate change, for real.